What flowers do you give when someone dies, and why do we even give flowers to the dead?

Flowers have long been a symbol of life, beauty, and transience, making them a fitting tribute to those who have passed away. The tradition of giving flowers at funerals dates back centuries, with different cultures and religions assigning various meanings to specific blooms. But why do we give flowers to the dead? Is it to comfort the living, to honor the deceased, or simply because it’s what we’ve always done? In this article, we’ll explore the history, symbolism, and etiquette of funeral flowers, as well as some unconventional perspectives on this age-old tradition.

The History of Funeral Flowers

The practice of placing flowers on graves and using them in funeral ceremonies can be traced back to ancient civilizations. The Egyptians, for example, adorned their tombs with flowers like lotus blossoms, which symbolized rebirth and the afterlife. The Greeks and Romans also used flowers in their burial rites, often weaving them into wreaths to honor the dead.

In medieval Europe, flowers were used to mask the odor of decomposition, as embalming techniques were not yet advanced. This practical use eventually evolved into a more symbolic gesture, with flowers representing the fleeting nature of life and the hope of resurrection.

Symbolism of Funeral Flowers

Different flowers carry different meanings, and choosing the right ones can convey a specific message or emotion. Here are some of the most common funeral flowers and their associated symbolism:

• Lilies: Often considered the quintessential funeral flower, lilies symbolize the restored innocence of the soul of the deceased. White lilies, in particular, are associated with purity and peace.

• Roses: Roses are versatile and can convey a range of emotions depending on their color. Red roses symbolize love and respect, while white roses represent purity and humility. Yellow roses, though less common at funerals, can signify friendship.

• Carnations: These flowers are often used in funeral wreaths and sprays. Red carnations denote admiration, while white carnations symbolize pure love and innocence. Pink carnations are often used to remember a mother or grandmother.

• Chrysanthemums: In many European countries, chrysanthemums are exclusively used for funerals and symbolize death and mourning. However, in Asia, they represent rebirth and are often used in celebrations.

• Gladioli: These tall, striking flowers symbolize strength of character, sincerity, and moral integrity. They are often used to honor a life well-lived.

• Orchids: Orchids are a symbol of eternal love and are often used to express deep sympathy. Pink and white orchids are the most common choices for funerals.

The Etiquette of Funeral Flowers

When it comes to sending flowers to a funeral, there are some general guidelines to follow:

• Timing: It’s customary to send flowers to the funeral home before the service begins. However, some people choose to send flowers to the family’s home after the funeral as a gesture of ongoing support.

• Types of Arrangements: There are several types of floral arrangements commonly used at funerals:

  • Wreaths: Circular arrangements that symbolize eternal life.
  • Sprays: Large arrangements that are often displayed on an easel.
  • Baskets: Smaller arrangements that can be placed on a table or the floor.
  • Standing Sprays: Tall arrangements that are placed near the casket.

• Personalization: Including a personal note with the flowers can add a meaningful touch. The note can express condolences, share a memory of the deceased, or simply offer support.

• Cultural Considerations: Different cultures have different customs regarding funeral flowers. For example, in some Asian cultures, white flowers are associated with death and are therefore appropriate for funerals. In contrast, in some Western cultures, white flowers are often used in weddings and may not be suitable for a funeral.

Unconventional Perspectives on Funeral Flowers

While the tradition of giving flowers at funerals is deeply ingrained in many cultures, some people question its relevance in modern society. Here are a few alternative viewpoints:

• Environmental Impact: The floral industry has a significant environmental footprint, from the pesticides used in flower farming to the carbon emissions associated with transporting flowers across long distances. Some people argue that giving flowers at funerals is an outdated practice that contributes to environmental degradation.

• Personalization Over Tradition: In an era where personalization is highly valued, some people prefer to honor their loved ones in unique ways rather than following traditional customs. This could include planting a tree in their memory, creating a memorial website, or donating to a charity in their name.

• Emotional Comfort: While flowers can provide comfort to the bereaved, they are not the only way to express sympathy. Some people find solace in other forms of support, such as a heartfelt letter, a home-cooked meal, or simply spending time with the grieving family.

• Cultural Shifts: As society becomes more diverse, traditional funeral customs are evolving. Some people choose to incorporate elements from different cultures into their funeral ceremonies, including the types of flowers used. For example, a funeral might feature a mix of Western and Eastern floral arrangements to reflect the deceased’s heritage.

Conclusion

The tradition of giving flowers at funerals is a deeply rooted practice that carries significant symbolic meaning. Whether you choose lilies, roses, or chrysanthemums, the flowers you select can convey a powerful message of love, respect, and remembrance. However, as society evolves, so too do our customs and traditions. While flowers will likely remain a staple of funeral ceremonies for years to come, it’s important to consider alternative ways of honoring the deceased and supporting the bereaved.

Related Q&A

Q: Can I send flowers to a funeral if I can’t attend?
A: Yes, sending flowers to the funeral home or the family’s home is a thoughtful way to express your condolences, even if you can’t be there in person.

Q: Are there any flowers that are considered inappropriate for funerals?
A: While there are no hard and fast rules, some flowers are more commonly associated with celebrations rather than mourning. For example, brightly colored flowers like sunflowers or daisies might be seen as too cheerful for a funeral setting.

Q: How long do funeral flowers typically last?
A: Most cut flowers will last about a week if properly cared for. However, some families choose to preserve funeral flowers by drying them or pressing them into a keepsake.

Q: Can I request that people donate to a charity instead of sending flowers?
A: Absolutely. Many families now include a request for charitable donations in lieu of flowers in the obituary or funeral announcement. This can be a meaningful way to honor the deceased while supporting a cause they cared about.

Q: Are there any cultural differences in the types of flowers used at funerals?
A: Yes, different cultures have different customs regarding funeral flowers. For example, in some Asian cultures, white flowers are associated with death and are therefore appropriate for funerals, while in some Western cultures, white flowers are often used in weddings and may not be suitable for a funeral.